How to write a monolouge?
Ok, I’m signing up for auditions and my agent said I should have a monlouge ready when I go to auditions, but one problem: I don’t know how to start one! I have to write monolouges involving comedy, and I’m 13, so please don’t tell me how to write a monolouge for adults. So far, this is all I have:
School, what a snore. Don’t you wish all the annoying kids would go away? Just the other day, a kid walked up to me and farted. FARTED! What a pig. I had to spray Axe on myself so I wouldn’t smell like our lunch, bean burritos. Next, you got those lame teachers. They are always like: “Do your homework. Do better in school. Stop calling Jimmy a fat old lady.” Seriously, can they give me some space!”
And that’s all I got so far. If you can, please provide something you find funny so I can add it, or give me some tips to re-write it if I have some mistakes. Thanks!
I think you’ve got the right idea, but you’re going to run out material unless you come up with a more interesting character. Just being an ordinary 13 year old is not enough.
I worked for some time as an Assistant Director for some indie films, and one of the directors told the actors they needed to come up with monologues IN THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE CHARACTER they were auditioning for. It was amazing. Actors who “got it” delivered amazing monologues, sometimes even better than the cold reads. Actors who clearly had no idea what the character was about did miserably.
I don’t think you should have any “cookie cutter” monologue prepared. That will make your audition meaningless.
Instead, whenever you are trying out for a specific role, try to put yourself in that character’s role. Think about the kinds of things that they would do in life. Then think about something that would be a real problem for them, something that they would react to strongly.
Then it should be EASY to come up with a good monologue that puts that character in that situation and shows how they would react to it.
For example, let’s say you’re trying out for a specific role that’s about a 13 year old kid who, in the role, wants to date a cheerleader but he’s really a geek and not at all athletic. Do a monologue about the kid preparing for a football tryout. Explain to “the coach” that you really want to be on the team, because you just know it will impress that cheerleader, and yes, you’ve been practicing. Then show HOW you’ve been practicing. A geeky kid would probably watch football on TV and try to emulate everything he sees, very badly. Like tell the coach, “I have some good poses for photos of a football player… look!” (then do some really bad “stock photo” poses.) Then insist you know how to run in tires too, proceding to do a very uncoordinated step. Then say, “and I have a really angry face too.” (Grrrrrrr!) “Oh, and I know how to huddle.” (bend over and nod to imaginary players around you.) “And I can throw really long passes too!” (pick up a football and procede to throw it badly, using your unnatural hand (if you’re a righty, throw it lefty, it will be bad). “And I can kick too.” Set up the football and procede to miss kicking it, several times. “No wait” “No, I almost got it.” “One more time.”
That’s the kind of thing that will show a director YOUR POTENTIAL. And a lot of times it even makes them think of things for the character that they hadn’t considered.
THAT will be a far more effective monologue than any canned thing you do for every audition.
Hear Me Snore! – Comedy Time
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