Am I wrong for complaining about my husbands snoring?
Can you please view my blog entry and tell me if I am wrong or is he wrong because I’m confused now. He’s been gone for 2 nights now just over me saying I am irritated by his snoring. Here’s is the link:
http://www.eternally-me.com/whats-wrong-with-this-picture
BTW: We’ve only been married for 3+ weeks.
Yes, he was over sensitive and shouldn’t have left. But that means there IS more to this story than he’s saying. Lovingly see if you can get it out of him. But while you do, make sure he really understands how much you love him and how much it hurts you to have him out of the house (that really isn’t the proper way to run a marriage).
But, he is right. There’s nothing he can do about the snoring, and maybe that’s why he’s so frustrated. If you asked him to make his bed or leave the toilet seat down, that’s a habit he can consciously work on. But there is no way to prevent snoring, seeing as you’re unconscious. Here’s the way I’ve heard of other couples dealing with it (and these are healthy, 20+ year marriages).
One, don’t be ashamed if the two of you have to sleep separately. People always act like that’s such a bad thing. But the people who say that are the people who don’t have a spouse who snores like a buffalo. You can still be intimate, cuddle, and then go sleep in a different room… and be sane the next morning, and maybe even cuddle and be intimate again because you’re not insane from lack of sleep. So if it’s a choice between sleeping in separate rooms or your marriage going to crap, choose the separate rooms.
Two, I’ve talked to a few ladies who use earplugs, but you already discussed why that won’t work.
Three, the husband has gone to the doctor to get prescriptions for different “snore suppressors” until they found one that works. There are mouth-guards, nose-strips, and these shocker thingys. There may be more. If you can get your husband to agree to going to see the doctor in a loving way, that may go a long way.
Four, adjust your sleep schedule so you go to bed earlier and are fast asleep by the time your husband goes to bed (1-2 hours?). Remember, your body only needs 2 hours of R.E.M. sleep. So those nights you feel you’re not getting enough sleep, you probably are. But if your body needs sleep, you’ll sleep right through his freight train nostrils. So if you are already sleeping when the rumble starts, you’ll get those hours you need. It’s kind of a mind over matter… I started sleeping much better when I realized that I was getting plenty of sleep despite being woken up multiple times during the night. Once I quit worrying about it, I slept better.
Five, my wife just beats me with a pillow. It doesn’t work, but that’s the method she’s chosen (and I’m not THAT bad).
Six, never have caffeine. I’ve been amazed at the difference in my sleep schedule when I’ve gone for a week with no caffeine. Try it. (but it sucks trying to find caffeine free Coke and Pepsi all the time).
snoring husband
